Gettin Busy
Today I was working on my calendar…writing down all the things on our schedule for the next few months.
I think our fall will be so much fun!
Mondays we have NUG
Tuesdays we have Girl Scouts
Wednesdays is Chicago Homeschool Coop
Thursdays is my “tribe day” with Jackie, and Music Together
Fridays will be our free day to plan appts and field trips. Friday nights are reserved for The Crew, as my husband has dubbed us.
Plus, I have La Leche League meetings, Condo Board President duties, Home Management Duties, which include Meal Planning, Meal Preparation, Budgeting, and Cat Control. And a part time home business with Natural Family Boutique, and once a month Cloth Diaper workshops to teach. And also be a wife and mother and friend, somehow find time to read all my magazines, do assorted art projects, maintain several blogs, and oh, yeah, sleep.
Mondays, NUG. NUG is a loosey goosey affiliation of families, and I like to attend their Multi-Age Open Gym Day. Though it can be extremely noisy at times, its a nice time to mingle with other parents while our kids can run rampage in the chicago winter.
Tuesdays, Girl Scouts. This will be my first year as a GS leader, and I am excited to be working with the Daisies, ages 5 and 6. It is a homeschool group, which is super cool! Yay!
Wed, another homeschool group with an Open Gym day. Its so nice to have indoor options in the middle of February when its cold and yucky outside and you are sick of your own house.
Thursdays, tribe day. I call it a tribe day, because our idea is to be building a relationship with another family-not just between kids, or moms, but the whole family. A year and a half ago, I emailed a mom that I knew slightly from my LLL group. I sent her This Link and asked her if she was interested in something like that. She said yes, and we have spent one day a week together ever since (barring vacation or serious illness) Its grown to include occasional weekedn babysitting swaps, birthday celebrations, and its adjusted to accomodate new babies, (Yay, Madeline!) and new jobs (YAY, Husbands!) and new schedules (school! girlscouts!) We hardly ever get any cleaning done, but we get lunch and dinner, occasional field trips and everyday life accomplished on a regular basis. Jackie has become a dear friend, and our kids enjoy each other, and our husbands are involved too! Its a lot of fun.
Friday…The Crew. This is a combo of 4 familes. 3 of us have hubbies who have other obligations on Friday nights, so we get together in some variation at rotating homes. Rachel hosted a couple of weeks ago, and it was a true life messy party albeit indoors. There were 7 kids, 5 and under, and a bazillion scraps of paper from scissor-work, blocks, cars, coins, and in the kitchen, a make-your-own ice cream sundae extravaganza. I thought Rachel was going to have just hose down the whole apartment. This last Friday it was just me and Zibby at Barrie’s with her kids and one of their friends. It was low-key and fun, and we caught up after not having seen each other for like, 10 whole days. LOL. Tina couldnt make it because she had a pesky case of bacterial pneumonia, and Rachel couldnt come because Otto was sick (which we all sincerely hope does not begin a 4 month spell of family illness for Rachel like last year!)
Well, so thats our Fall Schedule. Of course, that doesnt include weekend craziness or the Unschooling Conference Vacation. Which will all be blogged about in due course. Of course. 
beach day
Zibby and I woke up around 8 (early for us) and puttered around for a little bit this morning. Then we found ourselves back in bed, nursing and playing, when Zibby decided she was hungry for eggs. I was sort of dozing and was trying to placate her with “soons” and “in a minutes” . Then I told her that a big hug and kiss would help me get up. She shook her head and then a few minutes later, gave me a kiss and hug. I was already feeling pretty low about that, I mean, she wants breakfast, and I am trying to manipulate her into giving me a kiss. Ugh. And I still didnt get up.
Then she took matters into her own hands. She left the bed and headed into the kitchen. So, I dragged myself out of bed, and got to the kitchen just as she pulled the carton out of the fridge. And set it on her step stool. And then she climbed onto the stool and knocked the egg carton off. And 3 of the 4 eggs broke. 2 unsalvageably. So, I very angrily started cleaning up the eggs.
Zibby, now seeing the eggs arent cooking right away, gets down. I (not in a very nice voice) tell her to stay out of the egg mess I am trying to wipe up. So, she goes back in the fridge and gets out the tortillas. Opens bag. Gets out tortilla. Takes two bites. Puts tortilla on floor and stamps on it. Very close to the egg mess.
I snapped up the tortilla and whipped it, frisbee style, into the other room and yelled and actually screached at my hungry two year old. Zibby ran around the corner. A second later, she peeps back at me, and is crying and saying “Sorry, Mama”.
Thats when this thought popped into my head: “People before things, put the relationship first”.
So I apologized and hugged her and made the eggs. And promised myself to be Mindful today, and see what I noticed, and if I could make some adjustments.
I had another opportunity when we left to go out. First, as we were walking down the stairs, Zibby is saying “come on Zibby” every step…just like I usually do because we are running late and I am trying to hurry her. I make a mental note to be pleasant and patient in the stairway.
Zibby wanted to hold the keys. Ok. We get to the car, and she presses the keyless entry button. Ok. Then she wants to put the key in the doorlock. I try to tell her that the door is already unlocked, but she is adamant. So, I ask myself, whats the big deal, anyway. So, she “unlocks” the door. And then wants to climb in a put the key in the ignition. I really want to say NO, and just grab her up and get going, but I dont. She puts the key in, and very pleased, hops in the back seat to her chair. I go around and I wait as she attempts to buckle herself in. When she asks for help, I snap her in and we go.
We got to the beach and we didnt see anyone we knew, so we set up camp pretty close to the water. I made a bazillion trips to fill up the buckets that Zibby dumped out immediately upon my return. I did not complain or insist she could do it herself. Sometimes she went with me, sometimes she stayed in our shady spot. When she wanted to go, we packed up and went. We rinsed our feet extra very thouroughly in the shower thingy because shower thingies are Zibbys favorite thing.
We went home, had a bath, nursing, and both of us napped. When we got up, we had snacks, and Zibby watched Signing Time. I tried to read a magazine, but every time I picked it up, Zibby appeared with a book for me to read. We read “Sheep in a Jeep”, “Sheep in a Shop”, “Busy Monkeys”, and “Calvin and Hobbes”. Actually, she really just likes one page in Calvin and Hobbes, where Calvin is trying to climb out a window. She loves that page.
After dinner, we went to the grocery store. On the way there, I put my window down, and put Zibbys down a little, too. The whole way there she kept asking me to put it up, put it down. My first reaction was to say NO, with all sorts of rationals that didnt really make any sense. So, I kept adjusting her window up and down, up and down. What did it hurt? Nothing. On the way home again, Zibby and I did the window thing again.
She noticed the moon in the sky, and said “HELLLOOOOO Mooon!!!!”, so we said hello to the moon for a while, and then Zibby said, in such a plaintive voice “I CANT REACH IT”, I said, “No, honey, its high in the sky” and she kept telling me she wanted to reach it, but couldnt. It was so sweet. I called my mom and told her about it. I told Buzz when we got home, and he said she did it the other night outside in the front yard.
Another cute story is that when we got home, as we were walking up the stairs, Zibby said “I miss Papa!” and when we got in the door and he was there, she told him she had missed him.
I guess my lesson today is that my first reaction a lot of the time is No, and I can find a lot of ways to change that, and the key is to be mindful and question those no’s. And to stay in the present, and to keep my eyes on the prize-which is Zibby and her delightfulness and our relationship being strong and respectful and loving. And I hope that Zibby’s lesson was that Mama loves her and enjoys her and her world is one where she can explore and experiment and be herself and be accepted for just that.
Filed under ponderings, photos | Comments (2)sleepy day
This is a really cool ezine Connections
Also, this months Life Learning Magazine rocks. Full of really great articles on trusting kids, trusting ourselves, great article from John Taylor Gatto and a wonderful interview with a mom who was unschooled herself. If you dont get this magazine, you are missing out.
We went to the farmers market today despite the ominous dark cloudy sky. It never did rain, but it was very cold! We bought purple asparagus and goodies from the Bleeding Heart Bakery Zibby fell asleep on the way home, and as soon as I got her into bed, I pulled the covers up over myself as well. We had a nice long sleep together.
After Buzz got home, I left for a parent planning mtg for a hs coop I am in. It was a great meeting! The energy was so good, and we discussed everything we needed to and made decisions in a fair and meaningful way. I feel privileged and excited to be sharing this journey with such wonderful families. yay us!
We had to get up early today for a mtg, and tomorrow are getting up early to meet our playgroup at the Botanic Gardens. Then Friday….BEACH DAY!!!! I am feeling so inspired and eager to be doing things this summer. and now my sad refrain…must go to bed!
Filed under ponderings | Comment (0)confessions
I feel compelled to confess that I do not listen to NPR. Apparently, everyone else I know does, but not me. I actually did listen to NPR for a time, in the ams getting ready for work, and that is how I heard about the 9/11 attacks, but then, all that seemed to be on NPR was 9/11 talk, and it made me cry all the time, so I quit and never looked back.
I dont like talk radio. I am not an audio person. Actually, I dont even listen to the radio very often, because I cant stand the commercials. Since we got a Tivo, and have been able to ff thru commercials, I have become extremely intolerant of them on regular tv or radio. I do listen to music, on cds. But frankly, half the time, I have no idea what the lyrics are. I often have no idea what a song is actually about.
Back when I was a brooding teenager, and spent oodles of time reading the lyrics of all the tapes I listened to, then, sure, I knew the words. I need to read the words to be able to hear the words in the song.
So, no talk radio. No NPR.
I also have an extreme aversion to battery operated toys that make noise. This might be related to the auditory thing, but the incessant drone just makes me want to stamp over and destroy the damn thing. Or at least turn it off. I realize that this is my personal issue, so I try to be as accomadating as possible. Sometimes it is just TOO much. Honestly, I cant remember us having very many noisy toys as kids. We had a speak n spell. And I think the same toy, but for math. We had board games up the wazoo, dolls, rollerskates, stuffed animals, and I am sure my brother had plenty of cars/soldiers/action figures. We had an atari. And a basement where we had lots of imaginary play (school, restaurant, roller disco) but I dont recall noisy toys.
I mean, for heavens sake, children are noisy enough without adding wailing plastic into the mix, no?
Filed under ponderings | Comments (3)social butterflies
We have been busy little bees!
Last Thursday we hosted Playgroup at our house. No injuries to report, plenty of fruit and crackers eaten, and balloons played with, and kitten chased mercilessly. Friday we went a-visiting to a new friend’s house. A newish family to our homeschool group had us over, and we had a great time. Zib immediately adopted a dollie (or two, or three) and we enjoyed some yummy broccoli quiche and spinach salad and lots of talking and getting to know one another.
They live in a cool house with scads of art and artistic touch and thrifted goodies and a pink painted playroom. The girls played dress up in scarves before we left. Zib and I went home, nursed for a spell, and then headed over to another friends house to babysit for a couple of hours. After that, we went home and zib fell asleep, so I scarfed down some dinner, and then we went to our third engagement of the day.
Our last stop was my friend, Barrie’s. I helped her figure out some blogstuff, and our kids made some fantastic messes. By the time we got home it was after ten. Might have been eleven. I stopped at CVS to get cough drops, as my throat was feeling very yucky. There was a homeless guy hanging around the door. He didnt say anything to me on my way in, but on my way out he asked me for some money.
I didnt give him any, but then I drove away feeling horrible and guilty and sad and sorry for him and ashamed of myself. I never know what to do when someone asks me for money. I mean homeless people. I mean, I would give a friend in need any amount that I could, you know? So why do I not give a buck or two or more to someone who could clearly use it? I will have to think about that, deeply.
Saturday, I convinced Buzz to come along to the park for a park district “toddler romp” with free music, animals to pet, and activities. There was also a block sale nearby, so I got to peruse all the yards, and I bought a Moosewood Cookbook. Later that afternoon I went by the Lill Street studios to see an exhibition of kids artwork. Pretty cool! Then I hit the Whole Foods and Trader Joes, and by this time, my head cold was severely limiting my ability to breathe.
I called Buzz and asked him to start dinner while I was on my way home. Zibby went to sleep at 8 pm! And got up at 8. I think she is sick with something…she threw up Friday night/Sat am, but Sat was totally fine. Today I spent a lot of the afternoon napping, recovering from my cold. We made an appearance at a friends birthday party, then came home for taco dinner. My brother came over. It was all we could do to keep Zibby up until we finished eating. She was asleep again by 8. ALthough, at 10ish she was fussing and crying. I held her for a while, and she seemed to go back to sleep, but then she threw up again. Now, she is sleeping…not sure what the trouble might be.
Maybe we are doing too much?
Tomorrow is Park Day with the Unschool Group. I had such a good time last week, so I woudl really like to go, but if my little monkey is sick or the weather is bad, maybe we will just have a stay home day.
Filed under all about the zibster, ponderings, daily life | Comment (0)parent lessons, puppets, penguins, parks and bbq
Zibby is such a good mommy to her dollies. She diapers them and nurses them and makes sure they are warm with blankets and rocks them to sleep. It is fascinating to watch. If I ask her if her baby is crying, she gets very concerned and runs over to her baby to check. The funniest is when she has the baby switch sides while “having mamas”. Also, she carries her babies either in a small sling or on her hip, in the classic pose. The way she mimics me, and other mothers she sees, is what is the most fascinating thing.
I feel it in myself, when I watch my friends parent their children. When I ask them for advice, or when I just observe them, and learn. This is how we learn things. We observe, then we try it out. We copy, we adapt.
Saturday Zibby I attempted to go to a local puppet exhibition/performance but alas, Zibby was not that interested. We walked back home, had lunch and naps and then went out for bbq. The restaurant was kind of small and crowded and there was another family there with a toddler who was screaming bloody murder for a long time. I felt really bad for her. And the rest of the patrons.
Today, Buzz took Zib to the park, and I got to stay home! By myself! I had a little project to work on. I took some notecards, and skimmed my copy of Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting, and put some quotes and excerpts from the book on cards. Then I taped the cards to the inside of the kitchen cabinets. I think this will help me really internalize the ideas, and I will get to see them several times a day.
Last night I stayed up late and did some fun scrapbook pages. Basically, I just save up stuff and then do a bunch of pages at once for the last couple of months. I want to do a couple of journally type pages, also. I know how much I treasure the stories my mom wrote in my babybook of my toddlerhood. As much as Zib already loves looking at pictures and movies, I am sure she will be glad to have these scrapbooks someday. And its fun for me!
We watched March of the Penguins today. Zibby wasnt that into it, mostly because she wants to watch Signing Time all the livelong day But I thought it was pretty cool. What a strange world we live in. Buzz, who can handle any type of bodily mess, including output from all human orifices, got grossed out by the baby penguins eating from their mother’s mouths. I loved that the baby penguins stayed safe huddled under their parents special flabby guts. And that the parents took turns caring for the babies. It was all good, except for the eighty below, plus windchill business.
in which buzz and I discuss homeschooling
Today I finished reading Sandra Dodd’s “Moving a Puddle, and other essays”. There were quite a lot of inspiring messages, and I felt really excited about all the possibilities ahead of us.
On our way to our friend’s house for dinner, we passed the library where our homeschool group has their monthly support group mtg. I told Buzz that in June the meeting was specifically for spouses of the primary unschooling parent.
His first response was “Pass”. But I know that his first reaction to anything is NO. He then actually said “you never know. stranger things have happened” So, I feel slightly encouraged that he might go. It is only April, but the sooner I prepare him, the more time he has to get used to the idea.
Actually, that is what I said to him two years ago when I was pregnant with our baby. I said that I was going to homeschool. He said “no chance, no way, never ever.”
I said, “honey, I am telling you now, so five years from now, you will be used to the idea”. He agreed that was my best approach. lol.
Tonight I asked him where he was with the whole unschooling idea. He told me he thinks its crazy hippy stuff. But when I hear him talk to other people about it, or he tells me stories of him telling his friends, he always states it as fact: “Nancy is homeschooling” (and she is a crazy hippy) . I find this encouraging. Mostly.
Of course, our child is two. So there is plenty of time for him to see how learning happens, and plenty of time for me and him to talk about everything. And to figure out how to strew stuff for *him*. Could ESPN the Magazine publish some stuff about unschooling so I could be sure he would read it?
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