soundbites

Zibby told us to “settle our roll” and she’s still “cracking our minds off” (blowing our minds)
She wants to be an acrobat, a doctor, a ballerina, a rockstar and a mommy.
She loves meat. And noodles.

Did I write this story here before?:

“Mommy! There is park, like you park the car and park like you go to the park! (very excitedly)
And there’s close like you wear close and close the door!” (except its clothes, and I just agreed)

Henry is walking like a superstar and definitely saying Hi and bye and dancing and hi-5-ing us all day long.

Today I was cuddling with Zibby and she was looking very intent on something so I asked what she was thinking about.
She told me “R” and made the motion of writing an R. Deep in thought on Rs.

great quote

Oh, I meant to post every day in november, but I missed a day already. Oh well. Here is a fantastic quote from another unschooling mom’s blog.I will consciously try to keep my children’s names safe in my mouth today and all of my tomorrows. 

a post for every day in november

The weather here in Chicago has been amazing-in the 70’s all week. We’ve spent several hours at the park each day just hanging out and enjoying every last minute until winter hits. Henry climbs up the stairs and goes down the slide all on his own. Zibby is a crazy acrobat and runs all over with total abandon.

Tomorrow is our playgroup and my dentist appointment (cracked tooth!) so I have to get up early and clean and uh…plan out what the playgroup is doing! Better go get some zeeeees.

xoxo

YES WE DID

WOOO HOOO!!!
I LOVE OUR NEW PRESIDENT.
seriously, he is an amazing speaker and I am absolutely thrilled that I voted and that this great man was elected.

YAY!!!

We’ve been busy!

getting ready to slide down the picasso sculpture in daley plaza
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the Midnight Circus

The Zoo!

Today we spent the whole day at the brookfield zoo. It was perfect weather, and we all had a lot of fun. We brought a picnic lunch and played at the playground, took the motor safari all around, visited animals and rode the carousel.

Home for the Holidays

This year, we will be staying local for the holidays. That means we wont see much of my family, because they all live in different states.

We will have Turkey with Buzz’ parents and spend Xmas Eve at their house (or his sister’s), but I would like this year to make time to do some fun stuff with just us, and with some of our friends, too.

The whole “presents” thing about Christmas is a little strange for us…we sort of give presents all year-so there is no false build up or manipulation or waiting game to be played. Getting gifts absolutely does NOT hinge on being good or well behaved or anything like that. No one is threatened with punishments or lumps of coal if they spaz out or have a fit. Thank god, cuz *I* have fits *all the time*.

Anyway. Last year, it was actually kind of a chore to get Zibby to open all her presents. I caught myself pushing her to just keep opening up another and another, when she was clearly not only getting overwhelmed, but truly interested in exploring a specific present. This year, I’d like to keep my mouth shut and let her go at her own pace and keep the pressure off. Part of it is because she really doesnt have a sense of scarcity or lack, so she isnt ripping into all the gifts like a hungry lion. Not that she gets everything she desires, whenever she wants it. But we say yes when we can and we find ways to say yes later when we need to.

We freecycle and shop craigslist and ebay and etsy and thrift stores and make stuff and trade and get creative, too.Last year I researched the type of indoor mini trampoline I wanted, and then found one on craigslist, practically brand new and for less than half of retail. And, it turned out to be sold by a fellow homeschooler who I knew! I got a glider rocking chair for 40$ on craigslist for my birthday last year too. I love to find my niece a whole wardrobe for the current season in thrift stores and spend less than 30 bucks.

This year I am making a lot of my gifts. I hope they turn out to be the kind of homemade gifts that are appreciated and not mocked I think they will be good. I cant post about them here, or else it might spoil some surprises.

Last year a friend hosted a birthday party for her daughter and in lieu of a goody bag, the kids decorated cookies and ornaments. The ornaments were colored balls, and you could put stickers (foam puffy ones) or glitter glue on them. It was really fun and so I ended up buying some more myself and writing peoples names on with glitter glue and gave them as gifts. In the past I’ve also made earrings and jewelry, which is fun.

Im not sure handmade gifts are always less expensive than store bought ones, but they certainly are more personal. I love to hear the words, “I made it!” or “my friend made it for me”, it always gives the item more of a story, a background.

This past year I made clothes for most of my friend’s kids birthdays.

Those pants I made with this easy pattern I found online. I made at least a dozen of these over the summer for my kids and other kids. I made some super adorable ones from pillowcases from the thrift store. Two pants from one pillowcase, which I bought for 50 cents!

It was SO MUCH fun to go pick out particular fabrics for each child, and then to get to see them in my clothes, which I think they all really liked. I am definitely one of those people who like to give gifts- I dont need an occasion! Last year I made fleece no-sew ponchos for all Zibby’s friends. It was so easy and inexpensive. This summer I made a tutu for a friend-super super easy and way less than any storebought gift would cost.

Over the summer I took some of our old queen sheets and tie dyed them and gave them to my step-father for his birthday (we have a king now and so they werent getting used anymore) The sheets plus my mom’s birthday present, I wrapped in “>tote bags I made from fabric I thrifted.

I do love the holiday season. Maybe because its a great excuse to make and give things to those I care about. But I always feel a sense of magic and thrill in the wintry air. Its not so much about gifts or anything specifically religious. Its more about festivities and change and gatherings and rekindling relationships.

This year I would like to go to more parties and find more ways to celebrate with those I love.I am hosting an ornament trade online, but I think I may have an ornament party, too, irl. I’d like to do another sewing party to make more totes (to wrap prezzies in!) I’d like to have a cookie party. Party means, probably, having a few moms and kids over Zibby says she wants to make cookies. I guarantee she will be making holiday cards for people :)well, off to send this post to Ren for the blog carnival.

Happy Holiday-making!

Special Fundraiser for Tribemate

Please check out this special fundraiser 

As many may be aware, Teri Kuiper became extremely ill this past week andwas subsequently rushed to the emergency room. She has since been diagnosed withbacterial meningitis. The recovery will be slow and her ability to work,hampered. The Kuipers are unfortunately without health insurance and have alimited financial support system. Teri was widowed thirteen years ago and hasmanaged to support their three girls on her own and home un/school. She’sbecome an expert at pinching pennies but these are just too many pennies to pinch.

We have decided to come together and host a fundraiser to benefit the Kuiperfamily. Here’s how it will work: A site has been created  and contributors will offeran item (or items) for sale. Contributors will be expected to provide thefollowing:* a picture of the item or of each item if contributing more than one* a brief but thorough description of item or each item* asking price of item or of each item* shipping: contributors will assume the responsibility of shipping saiditem (or items) once it’s sold and for all related shipping costPlease start looking and/or creating ASAP!

E-mails containing pictures, item(items) descriptions and price will be accepted immediately via the e-mailaddress: _donations@unschoolgathering.com_(mailto:donations@unschoolgathering.com)Following October 15 (or thereabouts - the 15th is the goal!) Thoseinterested in purchasing will be invited to view the site and shop! Payments will bereceived via Paypal and 100% will go directly to the Kuiper family.

Oncesold, the contributor responsible for the item will ship it to you! This will bea wonderful opportunity to touch the lives of an incredible family and atthe same time, a great chance to purchase something special for upcomingholidays and celebrations!

What kind of items work best? Items may be something you make or purchaseto contribute. Hand crafted items are always popular! Knitted socks, hats,scarves, etc., always seem to do well! Hand-made jewelry is also popular!Anything you feel you may find exciting or inspirational will most likely beconsidered the same by someone else. Be as creative as you’d like! 

Please note: NONE of the volunteers and contributors assisting with thisfundraiser will receive any sort of compensation, beyond of course, the warm,fuzzy feelings of helping someone that is usually the first in line to helpothers!We encourage those reading this to please pass the information along, incase others are interested in participating and/or shopping. Additionally,please feel free to offer this information on your blogs or as a tag line on youre-mail. The site _http://unschoolgathering.com/Teri_(http://unschoolgathering.com/Teri) may be offered as a link on blogs as well.Your consideration is greatly appreciated!

baby steps

Yup. Henry is taking steps. Baby steps. A few here and there, standing alone, deliberating, reaching, walking and falling. He likes popcorn and chocolate, playing at the park, dancing, petting kitty and books. He likes to use spoons and forks and wants cups and mimics all the parts of eating except really eating. He likes to flop around ont the bed. He likes phones and remote controls. And buttons on tvs and such. And of course, he wants to do whatever big sister is doing. Zibby is having so much fun at her classes. She is really good at gymnastics and its fun to watch her do her tricks. She is playing around with words (opposite day!) and meanings and incorporating spanish and asking about letters and wanting to write things all the time. She loves to make and give gifts to her friends (just like me!) and always has a token for whoever we plan to see that day. She is sweet and helpful and sometimes totally unreasonable and particular and frustrating! Four year olds! harumph. fall is here and its getting chilly and crisp and I love autumn. but I am extremely tired and though I have more thoughts to share, I need sleep. hasta luego!

My thoughts on my Tribe

I’m real big on Tribe. When I became a mother, I immediately began to grasp how important having a community is, and how much I needed to get myself one.

I joined La Leche League. I joined an Attachment Parenting group. I sometimes went to homeschooling group events (with my 3 month old!) because I knew some of the parents there and I knew I wanted to Unschool.

 Around the time Zibby turned one, I asked a woman from LLL, who lived close to me, if she wanted to start hanging out once a week. I sent her this article and she said it sounded good. we agreed to rotate houses. Whoever was the guest brought lunch for all, and the host provided dinner, but we both made the meals, and the husbands were expected to share dinner with us all, too. We did it for almost 3 years until her kids were in school and the schedules conflicted too much. I think we both had fun (and our kids, too) and we both learned so much from each other. Our husbands carpool to work in the winter, we swap childcare, we drive one another to the airport, she attended the birth of my son. They are in our Tribe. 

When Zibby was almost 2 we started going to the open gym offerings of two homeschool/unschooling groups.  That January I somehow found myself on vacation with 2 other radically unschooling moms and their kids. (They had two each and I just had ZIbby) We had such a great time and it was my first real taste of seeing Radical Unschooling in action.  It was so much fun and we moms spent countless hours talking “shop” about parenting, radical unschooling, attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding, etc. It was wonderful. I was growing my Tribe.  

I became a LLL leader and feel like my coleaders have Tribe status :) 

Last year  a few moms and I started a playgroup with the idea that it would grow and develop our family friendships. We’ve vacationed together in various combinations, we see each other at family occasions, we are all part of the larger unschooling community. It feels amazing. To know and see people on a regular basis who have the same ideals, goals and challenges. We all have similar perspectives. I can vent about nursing my 4.5 year old, and no one is going to say, Why havent you weaned already? I can vent about going stir crazy with two kids at home and no one tells me I should put them in school already, or that I should put them in daycare and get back to work. They listen, they empathize, they offer me constructive ways to cope. We laugh, we cry, we understand.  

I do remember one specific day at the pool with my friend Barrie. I dont remember exactly who was there, but it was people from the homeschool group, some of her personal longtime friends, but I saw a mom nursing in the pool, then I saw a mom nursing over on a chair, another mom nursing a toddler, and everyone was talking about mindful parenting and unschooling and fun stuff to do and one mom was singing songs and everyone was so happy-I thought to myself, “I have found my people.”

I know that I’m lucky that there are 2 pretty active homeschool groups in my city. Not everyone is a radical unschooler, but there are a few of us. Even so, the big activities are mostly hang at the park adn the beach and share gym space in the winter.  I feel like I have been vocal and taken the initiative to spend time with the people I feel a connection with. I wont name names, they should know who they are

Then, of course, are my online Tribemates. I know them from lists, from message boards, yahoo groups, and from the two Live and Learn conferences I attended. We share stories, triumphs, challenges, and artwork I have learned SO MUCH of what I know from them. I owe Sandra Dodd, Joyce Fetterol, Pam Sorooshian, Ren Allen, Kelly Lovejoy, Beth Fuller and many other listowners and website owners a debt of gratitude for freely sharing their wisdom and creating forums for people to discuss the finer points of unschooling. I was pregnant when I first read online about unschooling and I knew immediately that it was where I wanted to be, where I wanted my family to be. When I am feeling challenged or stuck, reading or posting online gets me pretty immediate feedback and dialog. Its such a gift!

I do feel a sense of sadness that I dont have the same kinds of feelings about my family of origin. I know some of them read this blog, but actually, its been a topic Ive been thinking about a lot lately. Im not going to say any of this to make any one feel badly, but I think its an important part of why I am the person I am and the person I want to be.I have very conflicting and ambivalent emotions and thoughts about my family. I think this is the natural outcome of “mainstream” parenting. As a child, I was subject to rules, expectations, consequences, punishments. I was spanked, I was grounded and yelled at and lectured and shamed and told it was all for my own good. But I dont think it is natural to trust or love unquestioningly people who do those kinds of things to you. Its self preservation to distance yourself from pain and suffering.  I know in my head that my parents loved me (well, they *say* they did/do) (see what I mean?) but I didnt FEEL it. And although I’d say that me and my parents have an ok relationship right now, for me, the past is always bubbling underneath and it can still be painful. 

I truly believe that mindful parenting and radically unschooling will allow my husband and I to have unconditionally loving and respectful relationships with our kids. Sharing our lives with other radical unschoolers reinforces that for me, and gives us all more confidence that it can be done, and that it is possible.